Sunday, January 13, 2013

Guilty Sampler - Author Donan Berg

Guilty Sampler
 
 
Gerald patted the strange outline of the object beneath the cloth of his winter coat pocket, not remembering what he'd put inside it. He pulled the object out and immediately clasped his fingers around the plastic white spoon to hide it from supermarket passersby.
 
 
He felt a pang of guilt, not that he'd be going to jail soon. With the sample taste still lingering on his tongue, he fretted that he shouldn't have tried any sample since he knew he'd never splurge for a full retail container or package of the offered item.
 
 
The sample lady had smiled so broadly as she reached out the paper cup, so tiny, yet so inviting. Her wrinkled fingers beneath translucent plastic gloves matched her lip's radiating expressive creases.
 
 
"Try this pineapple with mango, you've never tasted anything so good," she said.
 
 
Gerald hesitated. The juice could be the perfect solution to his dry mouth. Hadn't he stopped at the bits of energy bar, pasta, ice cream, crackers, and chips all offered to him and consumed at the ends of previous aisles?
 
 
"Please enjoy," the sample lady coaxed. "The juice is on sale today. Save a dollar."
 
 
"Why not? What have I to lose?" His right hand fingers beneath the cup's top ridge lifted the tiny cup from the sample lady's hand. He turned his head as he sipped. A trick experience taught him to not broadcast offense to a sample lady if he didn't like what he tasted.
 
 
He rotated his head toward the sample lady. "Thank you. Interesting taste." Gerald  accepted the juice carton presented to him, set it in the cart's child seat, and shoved his cart load of six items to the next aisle. He tossed the sample-weighted cup into the brown paper bag collecting waste at the foot of the next sample table.
 
 
He didn't eat yogurt. The young girl with flashing green eyes surely had a bright future, but not with enticing shoppers for she barely said hello. Gerald, out of the young woman's sight, tossed the cup and its yogurt. What a waste, he thought. He slipped the spoon into his coat pocket.
 
 
Prior to checkout, he doubled back and, scanning the nearby area to be sure that no one seemed to be looking, he placed the juice carton between to milk half-gallons.
 
 
To the cashier he nodded when asked if he'd found everything. The plastic spoon in his coat pocket overlooked. Wasn't that part of the free sample? Too embarrassed to ask, he decided to shop on a different day next week.
 
 
(How would you edit this? Perhaps toss it completely? What does it say? Isn't this so ordinary a situation to be considered trite? If not, why?)

Monday, December 31, 2012

Sweet Pickle Juice, Oh Yeah

Feeling guilty about throwing that sweet pickle juice away after the gherkins are eaten? It happens alot during the holiday season, and immediately thereafter.

This blog can't promise you'll feel better, or anything else about what follows. If you try anything, do so with the utmost of care.

So when the sweet pickles are gone ----

1. Add the sweet juice to fat-drained pork chops that have been browned in a skillet. Heat covered, turning the pork chops over once or twice. The sweet pickle juice should tenderize and glaze.

2.  Grind leftover ham, add finely diced green pepper and celery, stir in pickle relish and sweet pickle juice. Spread on bread and enjoy.

3.  Whip the sweet pickle juice with cream cheese and use as a vegetable dip. Friends have used potato or other kinds of chips.

4. Make pickled peppers. Cut green, orange and/or red peppers, add juice, seal in jar, and leave for about two weeks. You may try this also with zucchini, although I'll say it's not my favorite.

5. Cook green beans in pickle juice, add bacon bits or slivered almonds.

6. Put your dill pickle slices in sweet pickle juice for a distinct new flavor.

7. Add sweet pickle juice to stews, soups, and homemade spaghetti sauce or cole slaw.

If you don't wish to consume, sweet pickle juice can help keep drains clean and sweet.

And, can't vouch for this, but a gardener told me that sweet pickle juice poured on gardenia bushes or azalea bushes once a year makes them thrive.

Happy New Year and may all your pickle days be sweet.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Character - A Poem


Character

 

The character appears on page,

but of his design who’s to gauge?

From the printed word we decide

where in our favor he’ll reside.

 

If he’s battered with rags-a-tatter,

from him we will all scatter.

If he’s in tailored coat and tie,

for his rapt attention we’ll vie.

 

If he staggers up from the gutter,

we expect all profanity to utter.

If high society lists him by name,

our invite to dinner won’t shame.

 

If he knows how to bow with style,

we suspect a nature without guile.

After all study our mind’s decided,

this character is really divided.

 

Copyright Donan Berg 2010

Copyright DOTDON Books 2010

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Halloween Candy Whimsy Part II Answers

Here's the answers from this corner on the Halloween Candy Whimsey, Part II.

1.  Babe Ruth

2.  5th Avenue

3.  Mr. Goodbar/Millionaire/SugarDaddy

4. Milk Duds

5. Skor

6. Hollywood

7. Kit Kat

8. Hershey

9. Almond Joy

10. Candy Kiss

Thank you all for comments, tweets, and having fun.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Halloween Candy Whimsy, Part II

We tried this a week ago with success and suggestions. The encouragement strained our minds to expand the test to identify Halloween candy treats. (Ps, the answers at the bottom of this post relate back to the prior October 17, 2012 post.)

1.  Famous former baseball player.

2.  Famous New York street.

3. Single women look for him.

4. Dry cow.

5. Determines who wins the game.

6. Home of movie stars.

7. A feline.

8. Two female pronouns.

9. Nut happiness.

10. A sweet sign of affection.

Good luck. The only sought after prize is your enjoyment.

(Answers to October 17, 2012 post: 1. Three Musketeers; 2. Mounds; 3. Milky Way; 4. Bit O Honey; 5. Life Savers; 6. M&M's; 7. Mars Bar; 8. Snickers/Chuckles; 9. Butterfingers; and 10. O'Henry. If you guessed me for the author, I blush, but you're wrong. Don't you think, however, that a nice candy name could be made from the book title A Body To Bones changed to be called "Body Sweets" so it isn't too ghoulish. Happy Halloween, and parents check your child's candy just to be safe.)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Can You Identify the Following Halloween Candy Treats?

Halloween is always a good time for whimsy. And, candy, candy, candy. Test your
sweet tooth memory with the following clues that identify candy brands.

Example:  Superman's favorite hangout; answer: Clark Bar.

Now it's your turn:

1.  A favorite swashbuckling trio

2.  Indian burial grounds

3.  Galaxy

4.  What bees make

5.  Round flotation device

6.  Twin letters

7.  Red planet

8.  Not laughing out loud

9.  Can't hold on to anything

10. A famous author

Answers will be forthcoming.