Openings - Tension, tension, tension

Readers always want tension. Authors know that.

Opening lines were the topic of the last post. While not just one line, openings, according to feedback received, require an extended discussion and we'll bite off another chunk here. While it's hard to generalize or slice openings into neat categories, I'm going to try assuming there is but one genre, which we all know is not true.

Opening tension, what's it about?

1. Tension versus grounding.

There is a general admonition for writers to create tension in the opening. That often runs counter to grounding, which I define as giving the reader an exact time, place, and context of the action.

To be vague, often creates tension. "Don't do that," she screamed." Okay, you're grounded in that its a female. But is she really in distress, or in euphoric joy. Let's not be sexist. We don't actually know what created the comment. Sure, the word "screamed" could indicate danger. But would that be so if this speaker was in a room of numerous loud voices and she didn't wish the caterer to place the food next to the exit door. Who's in danger? The speaker? Another person? Or is her pet dog raising a leg?

Many readers require to be immediately grounded, or they're flipping the story closed as a waste of their valuable time. And, who can blame them for desiring the security not to have to figure out the details of time and place. And, this knowledge can include both the physical as well as the emotional facts. Remember the cliché of: "It was a dreary and stormy night on the ............"

If you've read any of Robert Crais's best-selling novels, you'll begin with a straightforward description of characters and location, even if there's no immediate indication of conflict or tension. Obviously, that's what his readers expect and he delivers.

A descriptive on-board conversation of Sister Fidelma of Cashel sets the stage for Peter Tremayne in The Dove of Death to start the adventure with a death-defying jump into the sea and a dramatic rescue to avoid certain death.

2. Tension versus mood.

Yes, some novels depend on mood. Note above, a dark and storm night. However, it's easy to overdo the description of mood if relying on nature rather than human emotions. Readers, and I have no specific survey to quote, attach themselves easier to human emotions than the swaying of branches, a silvery moon, or the old chestnut of an approaching storm to equate to or suggest pending danger.

The trick for weather moods is to incorporate it into the personality, fears, or hopes of the witnessing character. Example 1: He shuddered at every strike of lightning; his father had been killed by a late August strike. Example 2: She felt calm. The wind did that. Example 3: Whenever George touched a wet rock, he thought of his pet turtle that slipped from his grip into the rapids and never surfaced.

While its sad, visual media has overpowered most written descriptions of natural phenomena. The descriptions are still important as seasoning, if not the main dinner course.

3.  Tension ploys.

Many authors employ short, staccato sentences or non-sentences to create tension. In the short term, it can work. The gunslinger flexed his fingers. His holster tied to his right leg. The six-shooter loaded. The crow cried. Dust settled. His eyes straight ahead. Unmoving. His fingers flexed again.

After two pages, aren't you ready to say, fire or die?

The First Line - Getting It Write

Over time, novel opening lines have been there to inspire parody, haunt the memory, or, and this is their critical importance, no matter how or by what technique, the reader must read the next line. And then the next until that most desired line of all - the concluding one. You might have favorite opening lines or know the classics. If you have the urge to write, you probably do.

J.D. Salinger in Catcher in the Rye relied on Charles Dickens and David Copperfield. Chris Cleave in Incendiary begins with: "Dear Osama they want you dead or alive so the terror will stop." Janet Evanovich starts with a different tone in One for the Money. She writes: "There are some men who enter a woman's life and screw it up for ever."

And no, Herman Melville hasn't been forgotten. You can fill in the blank. "They call me _______."

Writers and readers have a convergence, they both must start at the same words. So what kind of advice would it be to advise to start at the beginning? Well, it's true. It's necessary. The sticky point is: is the start enticing?

It's been claimed that one Montana writer spent eight years working on his novel's opening line. While the truth may not be known, there's one truth that's inescapable. Once the line is written for the last time, it's there for history. A daunting challenge, for sure.

Rather than go off on the theoretical, I've decided to set forth the opening lines currently topping the page of several works in progress. There's no rule that says an opening line can't be created by more than one person, although cartoonists have been having fun with committee creations for decades.

There's no right or wrong dream to where the words point, so enjoy. (I've substituted initials for character names. If your opening line wants to use initials for a character, go for it.)

1.  "Standing motionless, A.G. counted the day as both zero and one."

2.  "Chocolate smelled sweet, death did not."

3.  "E. feared that, if she looked, it would still be there."

4.  "Huffing and puffing, G.K. welcomed fatigue to punish his lack of imagination."

5.  "To counteract her chest-tightening sadness, A.H. squeezed both hands gripping her
       Ford F-150 steering wheel until her fingers ached and the depression between her
       raised knuckles mimicked the ruts in the rural road leading to Grandma's farm."

6.  "'Don't need help,' R.K., in the Angel Springs, Louisiana, Bayou Downs barn,
       admonished Uncle Joe."

7.  "Passersby would believe J.O.'s eyes gazed aimlessly past bobbing shrimp boats to
      the Gulf of Mexico horizon."

8.  "A. F. grieved the loss of two mothers."

An intriguing exercise, should you wish to do it, would be to write the second sentence to each of the above. If you do, you're on your way to completing your story. And, that's the hidden point of writing an opening line. It gets you started.

Book Review - The Harry Houdini Mysteries

Harry Houdini, well-known as an escape artist, becomes for Author Daniel Stashower the subject of mystery in his The Harry Houdini Mysteries published in paperback by Titan Books. The novel concerned with here is subtitled The Floating Lady Murder.

The reader never gets into the mind of Harry, as the narrator is his brother, Dash Hardeen, who also serves as Harry's manager and the scene opens with the-not-yet-famous Houdini trying to stake out a career as a performer.

The Floating Lady is a levitation illusion or trick that had already killed one woman, but had become an obsession for magician Harry Kellar. Houdini is hired by Kellar and works on finding the solution to performing "The Floating Lady."

There is an economy in telling the story while at the same time giving a full glimpse into Houdini's life and the era Houdini lived in.

The suspects are identified early, but the thought process to the reveal of the killer and the driving motive(s) leaves the reader out of the mix. Even when the reader is in the mind of Dash Hardeen and he has a revelation, the reader is not told of the truth flash. Not giving the reader clues to solve the murder is a major downer to the whodunit.

Dropping more earlier clues would definitely enhance the book's strength of description and varied pace of storytelling.

Writing Contests: "A" or "E"

In specific reading genres writing contests abound. For the budding author the question may boil down to whether or not entering a specific contest is worthwhile or desireable. For this post that underlies the title: Writing Contests: "A" or "E," which has nothing to do with a grading system.

The "A" and "E" are vowel choices to go with the three consonants "P R _ Y."

Thus, with regard to writing contests are you faced with the prospect of  wanting or having to "pray" for a winning entry, or are you the "prey" for the contest's sponsors?

It's no doubt that contests try to sugar coat the benefits of entering. It's almost like the hoopla that surrounds million dollar giveaways. While the giveaways say you don't have to order to be a winner, that may be true for the initial contest, but, if you order, don't you keep receiving entries for future contests that a non-ordering person might not receive.

There are many writing contests. Romance Writers of America (RWA) sponsor two well-publicized contests, one for published works and the second for unpublished manuscripts. Mystery Writers of America sponsor awards that are primarily focused on already published works.  Literary magazines such as Nimrod and crazyhorse (Lower case is title of publication.) award prizes to unpublished short fiction. The difference the latter two have is that payment of the entry fee gives the entrant copies of the respective literary publications, at least for a year.

Paying a contest entry fee that comes with a subscription does seem more than fair. It provides the entrant with knowledge of and the ability to read and dissect the winning entries. And, intellectually compare the winners with one's personal entry without potential embarrassment.

Entering an unpublished manuscript to other venues brings forth other issues. If you've written a romance novel and don't wish to enter the national RWA contest because you believe it is not so much an organization as it is a company trying to make a profit, there are multiple romance chapters within the United States that run annual contests to make money. Yes, they may not say so explicitly, but ask the RWA whether or not they encourage chapters to run contests to support themselves and their websites and keep member dues low. In a moment of candor, the truth will come out. There is no doubt the RWA encourages chapters to run contests for entries are often given a discount for being an RWA member and some chapters mandate RWA membership for entries to be acceptable. Thus, the RWA has its own self-interest at heart.

But, whether or not that is so, what impact does this all have on the entrant deciding whether or not to enter an unpublished manuscript? The following could apply to any organization wishing to charge entry fees for unpublished manuscripts.

The chapters, populated by unpaid volunteers deserving credit for following their passion, run and obtain the judges for the unpublished manuscripts. The judges, even in a blind contest, may or may not be industry qualified. If you read the fine print, the contests say that the judges are "trained" and/or "published." Being either is not the sine qua non for possessing the requisite innate quality or acquired qualifications to judge writing or storytelling. From personal experience, after receiving the critique of judges the suggestions were implemented and the stories submitted the next year with the judge's changes. The score on one was lower and the comment was made that the writer seemed to have English as a second language. The other scores were no higher and the writing criticized for craftsmanship that had passed mustard the prior year. I took advantage of sending word of this to the judges (unidentified to me) via the contest coordinator. Guess what happened the next year?

From another contest I got scribbled comments from a judge willing to at least be honest when he or she said that he or she didn't like to read the category of the entry then being called upon to judge. Wow, you might say. If your first thought is how does this judge know what is of quality in this genre if they don't read it, welcome to the club that now has at least two members.

The preceding comment brings to light what should be obvious. The judges, being within the same chapter as the contest, know each other and are, more than likely, in the same critique groups. Even without names on the manuscripts, surely the judges can determine who wrote what.

Do entrants know these internal chapter dynamics?  Of course, not. That's information not provided outside the contest's inner circle.  Also secret is the number of entries. Is one given the criteria for judge selection. Most likely, not. Are you given information as to what book the judge authored? Likely, not. In some contests you are given a scorecard. If you check the scorecard criteria or divisions, you'll find they are very subjective. As in writing and an individual's reading preference, there's no dispute in this quarter that subjectivity is always present.

The bottom line may be whether or not winning a specific contest leads to greater glory. If the recent news is to be believed, the answer is no. New York publishers look for ways to make money (And, isn't that the same goal as the manuscript contests?) and they recently have been seeking out those
authors who've either gathered thousands of readers or sold their manuscripts by offering them online or through e-books channels.

Yes, this new technology seems to be the way of the future. As each day goes by, the glitter of boosting one to success via a writing contest seems to pale. You may disagree and find that entering a contest is a reasonable substitute for not having to or being able to adhere to your own writing deadline or going out and creating your own critique group. No one can tell you what value there is in your money. That's right and fair. Being in a writing contest winner's circle can be a great rush and this writer has had first hand experience.

Poetry Within Your Novel

There's a not so subtle way for an author to impart a theme to readers of his or her fiction novel. That's to have one of the character's espouse it in poetry. Yeah, right, you say. Control or tamp down your disbelief for one moment. I will try to direct you to the promised land if you're willing to read on. Isn't inviting guilt wonderful?

Okay, a disclaimer to keep the fiction police happy, not every character can be comfortable with or be in contact with poetry. Yet, perhaps the character is a frustrated poet or had to write a poem in one of his or her high school or college classes. Feasible, you bet. If so, (and I bless my hardworking English teacher daily) you can incorporate the created poem into your story.

What if your character didn't attend the conventional school? Then there are several avenues in widely diverse genres to have the thematic poem disclosed to your fiction readers.

Captain Kirk on Star Trek, or your equivalent, can uncover it in a galactic cave. Maybe it just shows up as a hologram from the past. Perhaps it's a clue to a distant surviving culture that commands billions of gallons of fracking natural gas and is ready to crash the world's economy or, if you understand the poem's meaning, fill your vehicle's, and no one else's, gas tank cheap. If that's not compelling, then it could be part of a regular, old-fashioned mystery. Stranger things happen.

Your fictional romantic time traveler can find it tucked in an old trunk Shakespeare discarded on the way to Stratford-on-Avon. If you have a midsummer's night's dream not an accident, there can be a Puck you can count on. Your poem's discovery can be the "to be" of the be or not to be uttered by your Hamlet wannabe.

If your character is a historic saint, say, take mine, he lived as a Gaelic monk in the sixth century.  No, he wasn't St. Patrick who lived a century earlier. Who knows how much poetry my historic saint buried in the Irish caves escaping the Huns? Sorry, they were later and probably on a different continent. Maybe it was Finn McCool who performed the historic deed to save the magic poetic scroll my saint scribbled on whatever fast food scraps of paper then existed? I love that legendary McCool guy. He's such a 21st Century Disney character. Whoops, Disney hasn't put him on celluloid yet next to that famous Tinkerbelle. But okay, thinking harder, it was the thugs from Denmark who threatened my saint. Oh, those Danes, still around centuries later to cause Will Shakespeare dramatic trouble.

If we consider more modern times, didn't Agatha Christie conjure up mystical powers in several of her fictional stories. Perhaps a pale horse chased by Miss Marple? Or didn't Herucle Periot brave the Egyptian sun to find a poem in the tombs, or on an ancient scroll that would serve your purpose? You do the research. I'm just generating ideas.

If there's no historical villain or convenient sleuth, create your own. Remember, you're writing fiction.

Just ponder what the following poem means or says to you or us as readers. It's taken from Chapter Thirty-Four of my novel, A Body To Bones, First Skeleton Series Mystery, said to be written by a small town newspaper publisher. That he might do that would make sense, right? If I'm not the National Poet so be it, I'm, as you will be, hiding behind a created character. The question is does it impart meaning that is understood by the reader, if not critically acclaimed?

Lies will not support the past

False fronts created will not last.

In this world of gloom and woe

In wisdom, faith, and trust we grow.

For all that we carry in our heart

Or that our words will impart,

Memories in our hearts still glow

Showing us paths on which to go.

 

And so, what does that tell us as the readers?

 

Who is lying? What false fronts are created? Does it matter as long as we know it's bad? Perhaps the prior narrative tells us or perhaps we must look at our own past?  Even in a world of gloom, isn't there certain existing values we can count upon to exhibit hope? I'd say yes.

 

If there are trials or discouragements that linger in our hearts, doesn't the heart and the human condition have past glories that will show us the way? Shouldn't we be uplifted in the future that awaits? I'd say, amen.

 

Even if you don't have an answer, doesn't the poetry in fiction add another dimension that no other tool can?  Obviously you can debate me or others. But try it once. If your fiction is enhanced, you get the reward. It couldn't be any sweeter than that.

 



Beware. It's Personal

Lest I repeat myself too much, beware, this post is personal.

With a journalistic background, I've been taught to lead with the most important fact. For this post I've disregarded the principle since this isn't a journalistic post.

When I conceived how I would style and present this, my, blog, I decided to focus on helping other writers with craftsmanship articles, and as the desire struck, to add a bit of whimsy. Well, this post is neither.

What always impressed and irritated me about professional journalism was the ever present deadline. I vividly recall one late night lounging in the press room of a major hotel while the United States presidential candidate, in a suite upstairs, did whatever candidates do awaiting the decision of the voters. I was relaxing in the early morning hours relishing that I had stepped on the toes of a national magazine reporter and elbowed a Time photographer to get the photo of the candidate that I still cherish. On my agenda in eight hours was a two minute live radio report and attending any live press conference called if the candidate conceded or claimed victory.

I shared the company of a journalist from Australia, reporting for a group of British publications. After weeks on the campaign trail he was longing for the trip home. Slumped in his chair, he almost, on multiple occasions, fell to the floor, claimed by long days and short nights. His phone rang. It was his editor calling from a different time zone asking for 500 words, deadline in thirty minutes.

All I can say is that I've never read such concise, dramatic, to-the-point, cliche-free prose written in ten minutes from the grave of pure exhaustion. I'm sure I wouldn't have to this day remembered the incident if it hadn't been an honest-to-goodness professional who'd taught me an impromptu lesson at the foot of "show don't tell."

Circumstances as well as individuals can create the same feeling, only it may take longer.

Years ago I wrote the official United States released stories on the truce talks at Panmunjom, Korea. And it's been like days of old as North Korea has jumped to the world news stage. Only once did I have to fight the censors to use the words I had written. On that day I was successful. While I was in attendance at the truce talk site, halfway inside the 3-mile demilitarized zone, I had to have my story ready to dictate by telephone to Seoul when arriving at the military base just outside the DMZ. It was the first opportunity to make a telephone call. If it hadn't been for the experience of knowing reporters like those met during U.S. presidential campaigns, I wouldn't have been able to complete the tasks for the months that I did, nor personally complete the early morning briefing for the Secretary of the Army who visited during my deployment.

So what triggered these memories? While I wouldn't give up one minute of my journalistic life, I today discovered a reader review of my novel "The Bones Dance Foxtrot, Second Skeleton Series Mystery" on Amazon.com. It said: "I liked it but not as well as the first one. (That's "A Body To Bones, First Skeleton Series Mystery.") We've met the author so I started reading his books, and I enjoy them. I never know the ending and that's something I like."

I must confess I didn't recognize the name of the reviewer. Am I glad he purchased and read my novels, was willing to express an opinion, and took the time to write an online review, obviously yes, yes, yes. In fact, more than glad, ecstatic would be a better word.

But it also triggered in me the thought that an author never knows if or how he or she will affect a reader or a potential reader. You go to book readings. I have one scheduled here April 18 in Rock Falls, IL. You go to community events, you support charities, you speak to people in person, if you can. It's an axiom that no one can like or dislike a novel until it's read. Getting the read is the challenge. Can there be an analogy between an author "pressing-the-flesh" and a politician? Yes.

There is a kinetic energy that bills. Yes, please come back to this blog to read ideas on how you can craft better prose, but don't forget to get out there into the community. I'm not saying it will be easy, but the rewards will buoy your heart and brighten your smile. And, the rewards come from quarters you won't imagine and at times you won't fathom.

Isn't that why you're an author, to uplift people? To give readers an enjoyable experience?

Now, I ask that you go to my previous blog post and click on the link to read a sample of my e-book Abbey Burning Love.

Abbey Burning Love - Sample Read

Read a sample of Author Donan Berg's e-book Abbey Burning Love.

www.barnesandnoble.com/sample/read/2940012418586

Order at www.dotdonbooks.com Full-length novel 99 cents from the author who in
2013 landed three times in the 8th Annual Dixie Kane Memorial Contest sponsored by
the Southern Louisiana chapter of the Romance Writers of America.