A wish doesn't necessary happen

Any metric for measuring a writer's success is subject to many variables.

Selling books is an obvious.

That's why, I speculate, that AuthorsDen.com says "sell more books" to invite authors to purchase a membership. Obviously, they consulted lawyers to try not to create a legally recognized promise that an author who purchases a membership will sell "more books."

The subtle intent should be obvious. An author who joins a website wishes any offered payment will result in an upward increment in book sales.

Not always so.

AuthorsDen does not offer "testimonials." Perhaps that should be a signal to all who see joining them with cash will not result in an uptick in book sales.

The second part of incentive is that AuthorsDen will always say it was not their fault, but the author. Question? Then why do they accept the money.

The third part of the incentive for AuthorsDen is that it will rely upon authors not to broadcast any anemic sales because that pierces the author's façade of success.

This scenario was graciously hinted at in a 2014 Internet blog.

I have no inclination to shrink from the truth.  

My latest novel, Find the Girl, A Fantasy Novel, has been the "most popular" novel on AuthorsDen for the past one hundred and thirty (130) days.

Best I can tell, AuthorsDen has been responsible for zero (yes, 0) book sales. Is that "more," obviously not.

If you're an author, you may want to take my experience into consideration for any marketing decision you make.

Could you say, my novel, Find the Girl, A Fantasy Novel, was bad fantasy. I'd say, no.

And, I'm supported by the July Literary Titan Gold Award.

If you wish to test me, visit www.amazon.com for Find the Girl, A Fantasy Novel, and read a sample.  Visit www.smashwords.com/books/view/1059934 and read a sample that extends to Chapter Four.

Clarity, the writing challenge.

Writing clarity is always a challenge. It's one reason authors have editors. With humility, this writer fills both roles with herculean effort to keep them separate.

This posts harvests true-to-life examples taken from works, if not yet published, then designed to be published. In each example, see if your mind hesitates while it grasps for meaning.

I'll refuse to divulge the names of the authors and their titles. This post is for educational purposes, not shaming. If you chuckle, don't tell me.

Let's go:

Number one:  "He walked haltingly into his walker and turned it off and then sunk into his chair by the window."

Response:  Can you tell exactly what he did?  If he could walk, why the need for a walker? What do we miss? Wheelchairs are motorized, walkers generally not.

Number two:   "The master bedroom was larger, with a deck overlooking the beach and had an attached bathroom."

Response:  Wouldn't it be great if the beach had an attached bathroom? Those pesky connectors like the word "and" always send the wrong signal.

Number three: "Caroline glanced around then bent low and whispered a warning."

Response:  Punctuation can help with clarity. Wouldn't it be a faster read if the sentence said: "Caroline glanced around, bent low, and whispered a warning." Generic words always pose a problem. "Around" is one such example. What if, Caroline glanced left and right before she bent low. If she did go in a circle, the word "twirled" adds more clarity than "around."

Number four:  "Though, if I had to shoot through my purse today, I'd be madder than a hornet." She wrinkled her nose and untucked it from the pit of her arm. "It's new."

Response:  Plastic surgery, anyone? Yes, it's a difficult day when one has to untuck their nose from their armpit.  The purse would be easier.

Number five:  "Well what's wrong then?" Jackson asked, then before she had time to answer ran another question to her on its heels. "You haven't been spotted...?"

Response:  As with the previous example, body parts can be cumbersome to reference. Why not identify the other speaker with greater specificity than a pronoun? Place a period after asked. Insert "Judy's mouth gaped without a word spoken. 'You haven't been spotted...'"

Undoubtedly there's more examples in the world of writing. I'm returning to my efforts to craft words imbued with clarity so strong no reader misunderstands or has to detour into a foggy mist of vagary. My fingers are crossed for both you and me.

Donan Berg's latest literary effort is Alexa's Gold, a romance mystery with extra thrills. Click this link for to obtain a free sample of Alexa's Gold e-book , multiple e-readers supported. The trade paperback arrives at major retailers April 25, 2017.

Author Berg's 2016 First Place Gold Award romance, One Paper Heart, remains available at www.smashwords.com/books/view/553245, libraries, and major book retailers.

Read both Amanda and Why Does One Write?

For a limited time, read a complimentary copy of Donan Berg's Amanda. Visit Read Amanda, Click here. While at the website be sure to read the code to be entered as a coupon at checkout. Say thank you by posting a review at Barnes and Noble, www.bn.com, or Goodreads.

Why does one write?

For a limited time

For the innate joy?

To mask the pain?

To tell or retell a story?

For a buffet of riches?

Whatever the motivation to slide a pen across paper or to click keys and have characters pop up on a monitor’s screen, truth clashes with fiction. Even if our brain were infallible, would we want to record the minutiae of living? Would anyone desire to read it? The simple answer is no, or at least probably not.

And then there is the horrifying thought that perhaps someone else has said what you want to say or it has been said by others. Where is the idea, the turn of phrase never before spoken or set forth in writing? It is there. No one has had your experience, your perspective, your daily life. There’s the richness, the subtly, the unique emotion coursing from your brain to your fingertips. Whether it be a roar or a gentle nudge, it seeks expression, your exquisite unique expression.

And, with high hopes, you’ve begun. You inch the pen off the paper or press the “shift” button without pairing it with another key because you fear the “right” word exists, but not in your mind. Don’t wait. Perfection in the first instance is not your goal.

 First thoughts can be best, or fuzzy or out of context as the hand fails to match your mind’s speed. No worry. Experience will guide you and the first recorded thought is part of the required experience.  The sun shines every day at 36,000 feet. At sea level, there are lapses to allow daydreaming spurred by cloud images. Both the sun’s rays and their blockage frame the experience of the sun to give alternate and wonderful days not filled with monotony.

There be no need to worry that your first efforts drive a slow romantic dance step into a somersault. The journey into the box canyon is not lost. The return along the same road can offer new insights.

Do not be stymied by literal truth. Even if there is such a thing, differentiate between what the world may see and what you see and sense.  Be strong and forceful in all directions. If you envisioned one story and end up telling another, that’s not failure. It’s success.

About the author

Donan Berg, a heralded mystery writer, in 2016 won the Feathered Quill 1st Place Gold Book Award for Romance. He’s received comments from readers who said they don’t read romance, but One Paper Heart was an exception they enjoyed. You can read a One Paper Heart free sample by clicking on the link or at major online book retailer websites.

Writing Analysis - The Bones Dance Foxtrot

Statistical fiction writing analysis is a fun exercise.

How the results are interpreted becomes a writer's individual journey.
A dash of faith is required to accept the topic ranges as fair or supported
by empirical data.

I submitted The Bones Dance Foxtrot, Second Skeleton Series Mystery.
It's a novel available in trade paperback and e-book worldwide,
free on Amazon's KindleUnlimited. Author Donan Berg Amazon Page

Here is what was determined by the word analysis.

Generic words 2.15%  (Less than acceptable range, which should be good.)

Flesch Kincaid Grade 5.73 (Reads at sixth grade level.)

Adverbs 5.19%  (Less than acceptable range, which should be good.)

Passive sentences 4.37% (At range bottom.)

Adjectives 6.24% (Within range.)

Sentence length 9.47 words. (At range's lower end.)

Initial pronouns 2.07% (At range's lower end.)

Difficult sentences 19.79% (At range middle.)

Best genre is mystery/detective/police procedural. (44.69% )

To forge a conclusion from the above results adds further subjectivity.
The novel's length is approximately 86,000 words. Lower than the acceptable
range of generic words suggests the words written were specific. This may account
for the mid-range sentence difficulty, however, the sixth grade comprehension
level indicates readability wasn't hindered, nor was it a PhD dissertation.

Perhaps, the short sentence length coupled with active sentences (i.e., a low
number of passive sentences) mitigated the difficult sentences effect? The low
number of initial sentence pronouns supports sentence variety.

Authors should remember that the typical reader doesn't parse sentences or
count words. He or she reads. If the author makes the story interesting and easy,
the more read the work will be.

Secondary Mystery Characters Who Play Fair

It’s a mystery reader’s challenge and the name-of-the-game: Every character who populates a page could be a suspect. While the author and reader know who is and who isn’t, the reader can’t be sure. The author must play fair.

 Secondary characters main role is usually to move the story along. They serve food and drink to the sleuth, drive him or her around, are family members or associates who attend holiday parties.

 Often sketchy and written in without taxing the author’s brain, these secondary characters challenge the reader, especially in early chapters. The author also faces a dilemma. If drawn to narrow, the reader quickly dismisses the character as not a suspect. Flat, one-dimensional characters also create lifeless reading.

 The author who desires to have as many viable suspects as possible can not overlook the minor characters, especially on their stage debut. That is because, if the only three-dimensional characters are the hero/sleuth and the villain/criminal, the reader won’t have any fun in trying to decipher whodunit.

 The balancing fulcrum between reader and author must be fair play.

 Fair play in that the reader knows as much as the sleuth and there are multiple suspects.

 If the sleuth enters a supermarket, what type of individual might he find?

Example one:

The obese, heavyset white-shirted male with the store badge clipped to his black belt knelt near an aisle merchandise display.  His gray hair and facial wrinkles said he neared retirement. He chewed a yellow pencil stub as if it were a toothpick. His brown eyes were downcast and hardly brighter than his scuffed black shoes.

 Comment on Example one:

 Many writers pass off this physical description as strong characterization. Other than outward appearance, what do we know about this character. Is he a clerk, a middle-level manager, or the store owner. Was he concerned with merchandise or had he dropped something? There’s a lot we don’t know and nothing that really makes this male memorable, except the writer really wanted us to know the character carried extra weight by the needless repetition.

Example two:

The purple-shirted male with a shaven head knelt with his hob-nailed engineer boots blocking any grocery store cart that dared attempt to pass him. The red of his bulbous nose contrasted sharply with deep-set dark eyes. A red bandana tucked into his rear blue jeans pocket lay limp against his right butt.

Comment on Example two:

This exaggerated attempt to add “color” to the character spins a blurry and confusing palette. Is this person young and not know better or old and doesn’t care. Perhaps, he stopped into the store for water before he was to set out for the costume party. Who knows? These types of characters don’t ring true to the reader. It draws unneeded attention to the author. The reader. as well, might question the motives of the author, and not in a good way.

Example three:

The store clerk pushing a wheeled merchandise-laden cart hummed “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear.” Must be new, Detective Jim thought. He hadn’t met this blue-jacketed young man before.

     “You practicing for Christmas Eve?”

     “Easter,” said the clerk. He grinned and Jim knew he wasn’t serious.

      “Where’s the eggnog?”

      “Aisle 9.”

Comment on Example three.

 What does this brief introduction tell the reader about the young man? Yes, young, but we don’t know years so the reader must actively engage his or her imagination and draw upon personal experience. May be a high school or college student working during the Christmas break. He wears what might be a common clerk uniform jacket so the reader can deduce he’s an employee. If he hums, there’s an indication of how he approaches his tasks. His response to Detective Jim indicates a sense of humor. Since he knows where the eggnog is, he’s either studied the store layout or has worked there for a sufficient time to become familiar.  If not naturally friendly, perhaps he’s sophisticated in how to hide his true feelings.

Summary:

 The store clerk in the last example hasn’t been over developed. Yet, if need be, his character can reappear later. It’s the same gradual process of creating major characters.

 Examine your secondary characters. If the restaurant server is mentioned only because a plate of food must be in front of the sleuth, there is likely no reason even to give the server a name or gender. If the server is in a cowboy outfit and that is a way to identify the restaurant as a BBG joint, then by all means add this as one of the few details necessary to orient the reader.

 One last point, in real-life we often learn more about another person by the way they act and talk than by their dress. Detective Jim will likely remember the clerk’s humming rather than he wore an employee uniform. Chances are the reader will, too.

Donan Berg's latest novel is a romance entitled One Paper Heart. Read a free sample of One Paper Heart by clicking the underlined link or at your favorite online bookseller.

His recent mystery is Adolph's Gold. Read a free sample at the following link Adolph's Gold or online at your favorite bookseller.

Writer Choices: May the World be Yours

World building is the first goal of science fiction writers;  a goal that isn’t completed until it’s the weirdest ever. A thing or creature is greater than physical features. It interacts. It communicates.

 

All writers swear an allegiance, either knowingly or subconsciously, to the world of communication. How do we do it? The moronic answer: we put words on paper. Dah!

 

C’mon, it’s not that easy. Right you are. Let’s try to list the ways our words on paper impact the reader?

 

            1. Characters can think, speak, act and/or interact.

            2. Things exist and have a history, known or unknown.

            3. The environment (i.e., scenery) impacts by whatever it does.

            4. What’s left out.

 

Number 1 is a no-brainer in concept and difficult in execution. Does the head have one eye or two? If not a human, maybe no head at all. What characters think tells us about them. A sports fanatic, one scared of water, or one who procrastinates each travel a different path or no path at all. Is there a difference between a mile runner who goes straight versus one who enjoys an oval surrounded by cheering fans?

 

There can be differences in all these. That’s the payoff to a writer. You agonize and then you get to choose. Choices, that’s what communication is no matter how done.

 

Number 2 can be as vast as number 1. The simple rock may not attract attention until a pickax exposes a vein. “Gold!” is the cry. “Stupid rock.” “Fool’s Gold.”  Its toss onto a pile eight-feet high instantly tells a story. Things can be chosen for intended results. An old letter to bring the writer’s history to the forefront. Bright or faded, the marks can be decipherable or not. Modern day electronic bytes zooming through space unseen can be a challenge or not. One day society might have a machine that displays the unseen words. In your writing you can have it today.

 

Number 3 is the environment. Number 2 mentioned space. There is a connection. Compartmentalizing numbers one, two and three is possible, but so is combination. Writers separate the ingredients to create a pie presented to the reader. It’s a metaphor. Writer’s like, no love, them. With our pie metaphor there is the flour and water that makes the crust. A fruit, apples my favorite, mixed with cinnamon and sugar, as a filling. Then, either a full crust to hide the filling or strips to expose and tantalize the prospective eater. While the aroma may be the same, size may not be. Would it sit on a window’s sill or enter a contest? As with the pie, trees, lakes, buildings, sewers, drain spouts, insects, mammals provide an infinite number of choices that can be shaded with singular or combined variation.

 

Number 4 can be as important as any of the above. What is left out is also a choice. If a writer never mentions a character’s feet, maybe they don’t exist. If they exist, are there three or five toes? Maybe they’re fashioned out of clay? Oh, is that literal or figurative? Again, what is left out leaves an impression. It’s a good impression if the dull stuff isn’t left to be read. There are necessary physical acts for a character seated in a room to answer the door. Readers can figure that out if its every day normal suburbia. But? The writer says the character flew to the door. Is it literal?

 

All this certainly left out an encyclopedia. If it made you think, that’s enough. Now, make those choices, change them, circle back, try a choice outside your comfort zone. To revert to the pie metaphor, the world awaits your choices and will enjoy the taste, even if they don’t recognize or understand how you made it.

 

 

 

 

Where to begin? Amaze Yourself.

Driving on a rural road this past weekend surrounded by cornfields prompted a writing thought: where does one best begin the next story. At the beginning is a vague answer that, while true, is worthless. Any word written on a blank page is a opening to a story, but is it the best?


The green corn stalks seen in August will, in the upcoming months, turn brown and be ready for machines with metallic pointed snouts that will pluck the cobs of dented yellow kernels and shoot them into trailing wagon beds. After the precision GPS-guided chopping of selected rows, the harvested stalks left standing will morph into a fanciful Halloween maze.


The created maze can metaphorically represent the task of where does one begin his or her novel? The variables are endless, often confusing, and perhaps daunting to the nth degree.


If there is an apparent opening, all may be well and good until trapped by a dead end. If there's no entrance visible, there's nothing to stop a writer from hacking through the exterior maze perimeter to find a carved out pathway. Either way for the writer is likely to result in his or her trashing written pages, perhaps a hundred or more.


If one is reminded that every novel has a logical central point or an emotional heart, why not sit (for fantasy purposes only) on the end of a catapult's arm and be flung into the maze's center? Or find the nearest mountaintop to give one a bird's eye view to create a strategic maze plan to locate the story character's pivotal decision. The problem with being dropped into the maze's center is that one loses all the prior decisions and information gained that fleshes out the character's journey.


While reader's most often dread any story's middle, to get there without experiencing what initiated the character's imbalance results in bewilderment and/or anger when not fully in the know. The reader has been deprived of the logical steps leading to the story's satisfaction.


In addition the story progression requires strong interrelated elements. Just as chopping off the necessary triggering imbalance leads to reader apathy, not proceeding along the maze paths creates a disconcerting jumble for the reader.


In the end, getting into the maze and twisting and turning, even retreating from a dead end, can be an exhilarating experience for the reader as well as the writer.


Ps, If the writer jettison's thousands of words, all is not lost. They were probably geared to the maze that exists for the next novel.

No Rhyme or Reason

Writers, and I include myself, fumble and perspire to create the best prose possible. We judge ourselves, unmercifully so. And, what is the commercial outcome? We don't know. It's impossible for us to project. And, that's the truth.


This simple truth was no more apparent to me then this week. Attending a book club of which I've been a member for years where the books are member-chosen it's always interesting to see what selections are agreed upon. This month's book, the core of which I had no quarrel, did cause me pause in that the writing switched numerous times from past to present tense. I have no quarrel with either tense (in fact I've written novels utilizing both) but it drove me to distraction when reading to have to switch from one to the other, back again, and then to switch again.


Yet, while fellow book clubbers had no difficulty appreciating my concern, they were willing to overlook it. As one member said, this was a first time author. What a break. I stayed silent, but thought where was the book editor.


This past week I found a copy of a book on editing by Sol Stein. Admittedly it was an old book. However, editing principles don't change that quickly, if ever. He took to task The Firm, an early novel by John Grisham that achieved remarkable sales. And, one of many movies made from Mr. Grisham's writing endeavors. The point by Editor Stein was that commercial fiction could be successful even if it didn't meet what could be considered "literary" standards of writing quality. One can not begrudge the success of Mr. Grisham, in fact, it should be idolized for, notwithstanding critical judgments, he's made the book buyers of the world ring his cash register. We should all be so fortunate.


Nevertheless, we shouldn't jump to the conclusion that editors, even hardnosed ones, are unnecessary and that any writer will be successful no matter what they write. Do I hear an "alleluia?"


There are many factors to successful writing. Clear prose should be one of them. It's like a well-built automobile: if nothing goes wrong and gets us economically to the intended destination, we don't give it much thought. If the onboard computer malfunctions and leaves us at the side of the road the screams of "why me" can be heard across numerous counties. In writing, concrete prose correctly presented doesn't receive encores. It's taken for granted. Or, is it?


Let's say it ups a writer's chance to obtain reader approval. Reader approval will make for greater sales of the current book and, hopefully, others that follow.


As a native of Ireland, I'm mindful of the Irish author who came to New York, wrote four novels, and achieved no commercial success. After his death, his novels were "discovered" and made his heirs or the publisher a pretty penny. Was he a failure as he thought? Apparently not depending on when the judgment is made. So, does this true to life story inspire? We can hope so, not that I wish any writer to die.


There is no rule that says violation of what is considered to be preferred writing style will condemn that writer to failure or poverty. However, there are many other writers who gain both monetary and public acclaim by being exceptional writers, not by talent alone, but by hard word in learning the craft of writing, nurturing their own instincts, and abiding by the skills gleamed from others. There is no official survey, but I would speculate that those writers who have acquired and polished the skills espoused by well-known and esteemed editors have prospered by all yardsticks of success.


Yes, there will always be exceptions. Isn't it better to shoot for the majority road to success?


If you answer, the truth will be known to you and you need not share, but keep on writing.


Author Donan Berg has published five novels, the latest is Adolph's Gold. It's available at major online book retailers in e-book format and in paperback (374 pages) at www.createspace.com/4713705 . He also is available for flat-fee manuscript critiques and line editing through www.authorsden.com/donanberg . Click on the marketplace link for more information. He offers a no obligation consultation. What have you to lose?


Also, he's scheduled to be on blogradio April 14, 2014, at http:www.blogtalkradio.com/vanneylive from New York City. Listen in or join the conversation with a call in.

Characterization Should Surpass History

Characterization in fiction commands top attention. That's a given. Considering history in the mix is often overlooked. It should be more than avoiding the faux pas of placing a cellphone in the hands of a Roman soldier. Yes, my example is ludicrous, but it should make the point.


If your character is an every day worker in the contemporary United States, have you considered the work environment? There are cultural influences at work. In recent history, from the 1950s onward, there's been a dramatic shift with the emphasis originally on mechanization and automation that has brought us into a larger digital world. Management has been concerned with better methods, lower costs, higher output; but the workers may be concerned with the loss of individuality in that their contributions have been downgraded, i.e., the worker is more of a cog in a machine than an thinking, problem-solving member of a team.


In fiction there is a striving for conflict. Manager versus worker is a no-brainer. But for the fiction to be credible, there must be a recognition that the concepts of leadership have changed greatly since the 1950s. In the United States, from the beginning of the century to 1950, the leadership philosophy was that "leaders were born, not made." The leaders were charismatic. And fiction writers using this time period, then or now, must reflect that.


In portraying characters, the boss as a character was "king of the mountain" and his word trickled down to the workers in the valley. The boss set the goals and did so unilaterally. The whole scheme to be set out in fiction had to recognize this hierarchical model.


The system, whether ideal or not, seemed to work. The United States with six percent of the world's population, seven percent of the world's land mass, had almost fifty percent of the world's wealth.


Now, since 1950, the workplace has changed dramatically. The complexity of the task, at least in the worker's eye, is such that no one manager can either absorb or innately have enough knowledge to know everything. The worker may be told what to do, but he or she does have the necessary acceptance to believe in the unerring wisdom of the manager.


Fiction has to acknowledge, if not accept, that the whole concept of leadership in the United States has changed. Modern-day managers must act on the basis of getting the sanction and support of subordinates.


If your fiction presents a workplace with a very structure-centered, rule-centered manager, and the time is present day, that may stress the seams of reader credibility. Sure, such workplaces may exist, but if fiction is to present the extreme as the mainstream the necessary suspension of disbelief will be harder to obtain.


What is the fiction writer to do? If he or she portrays an outdated workplace, it's an uphill battle to win the reader. If he or she portrays the workplace as a modern day cooperative venture, the goal to increase tension and conflict is tamped down and bores the reader.


That there has been and will forever be conflict in the workplace between manager and worker can almost be taken as a given. If so, what to do?


If you want to have conflict and a problem arise, envision its ancestry. Look at the relationship between manager and worker. What would be their goals? The manager may be looking a more money. The worker might like more money, but maybe he desires respect for individual contribution. What started the conflict? Was it family? Hatfields and McCoys? Was the self-made manager envious of the college-educated upstart? Perhaps there was discrimination. Any kind will do.


Maybe there is a simple miscommunication or that the manager sees the situation one way and the worker, legitimately, sees it different. Comedy writing is full of these situations.


Fiction must delve deeper. The conflict is not that one person is the boss and the other person is the worker. Be more creative and create multi-dimensional characters. The dynamics of conflict in the workplace invade from all corners of human relationships. Strive to get past the historical framework to hook your reader and then keep your reader engaged with conflict between characters that transcends the original cardboard vision of the workplace.

Adolph's Gold and an Editing Testimonial

Adolph's Gold, a 374-page trade paperback novel by Author Donan Berg, has been released. It has been available since March 25, 2014, at http://www.createspace.com/4713705 . Priced at $14.95, it is slated for extended market distribution in the days ahead. Latest information is that it's already displayed on Author Berg's pages at www.amazon.com .


The Adolph's Gold e-book version, released March 13, 2014, is available at www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/398225 and other online book retailers worldwide.

Praise is always welcome and appreciated.

Feedback on what a person does is extremely important. Within one day of my completing a scientific manuscript editing Saturday, the following e-mail arrived in my inbox:


"Thank you very much for your excellent manuscript editing. The manuscript has been substantially improved with your help and looks very nice." Signed Y. Y.


This was the first scientific manuscript edit I agreed to attempt. While not a work of fiction or a non-scientific manuscript, my research into what scientific papers require showed that, outside of format, which is easily learned, there is a common thread to good writing.


As an aside, I must say, any repulsion I had against animal research was mitigated when the procedures explained were done with compassion and had a direct correlation to improving human health and survival.


Good writing transcends the subject matter is a truism all writers should all remember.


For all who chose to read this blog post, until March 25, 2014, go to www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/405595 and enter the coupon code HN522 at checkout and receive the short story "Amanda" for free as a thank you for visiting this blog.

The Path to Create

 

A reader doesn’t willy-nilly wander just any path in your writing. He or she sprints, trudges, or aimlessly wanders in step with the journey you, as a crafty writer, have created to prod or enthrall the reader into. If you’ve plotted adeptly or strung your ideas on an unbroken string, the reader doesn’t get lost or shunted to the path of disbelief. This includes fiction where a major purpose of the writer’s task is to build suspense, throw in a red herring, or tilt the reader’s sense of balance.

Prose that is loose and unstructured loses the reader along with the writer.

Two writing concepts: “unity” and “flow” are often dressed or considered to be identical twins but really aren’t. “Unity” is a coherent journey that, more likely than not, takes the reader back to a character’s beginning in either time, space, thought, or location. “Flow” is pacing and markers along the reader’s journey that keeps he or she moving forward to the next page, the newest thought built on or created out of a previous thought, or the revelation of an underlying theme.

While Tarzan swung from vine to vine, he had to keep looking forward to determine if the next jungle tree was strong enough to hold his weight and offered a new vine able to swing in the direction he wished to travel. Each tree or vine could be a different native species. It didn’t matter. Writing instructors often use the analogy of a flagstone path. Each stone is of a different dimension and/or shape, yet together they “flow” in a direction that can be discerned and followed.

“Unity” is to make each tree or stone suggestive of the journey and provide for its accomplishment. Linkage is how you, as the writer, arrange and order the individual pieces. You as writer keep adding new things: Tarzan meets Jane. Tarzan reaches for a coconut. Tarzan avoids the swipe of a lion’s paw. You’re building Tarzan’s life. Giving the reader perspective and insight into Tarzan’s existence.

While Tarzan grows wiser, he ages. The sun dips below the horizon and dawn breaks to provide transition between days. A scrape on Tarzan’s leg first bleeds, the escaping blood coagulates into a clot, a protective scab forms, and then the healing process culminates when the scab dries up and disappears to leave new skin. Similarly, Tarzan’s life events are expounded upon and blended together like the transition of a healing wound.

But be on guard for tried-and-true words and phrases that may be convenient, but should be avoided. Example: “After having …” Having means the action has already taken place. The writer has indicated he or she is writing about the past. You would not say” “After having looked around the forest, Tarzan eyed a cypress.” Redundancy abounds. Use either “after” or “having.” “After looking around the forest, Tarzan eyed a cypress.” Or, “Having gazed about the forest, Tarzan eyed a cypress.”

Tarzan swung from a cypress to an oak and then to a palm tree. The coconuts were ripe, unlike two months previous. A single action ties together Tarzan’s journey and experience. There is both flow and unity. The logic is implicit and, while the writer keeps the reader on a unified journey, the flow is a separate entity for it may be fast, slow or impeded.

While the flow may vary, unity should be one coherent and constant path.

Author Donan Berg's latest novel, Adolph's Gold, will be available March 13, 2014 at major e-book retailers, and www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/398225 . Not willing to wait until March 13 to read a sample, go to www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/398225 for a free sample read. Pre-orders are $2.99, the lowest available price. Expect price to increase after release.

Also now out, Author Donan Berg's latest short story, Amanda, $0.99 cents, at www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/405595 . If you e-mail a copy of a pre-order receipt for Adolph's Gold don@dotdonbooks.com from Barnes and Noble, Apple, or Kobo, you'll be given
a coupon for a free download of Donan Berg's short story Amanda.

If you enjoy either Adolph's Gold or Amanda, please write a review.

 

 

Develop a Winning Attitude for Successful Writing

What does it take in our everyday writing lives to be successful? In order to evaluate this question it is first necessary to understand what "success" is and what all successful writers have in common. It is probably safe to assume that anyone continuing after the first sentence wants to be successful as a writer.

However, only five percent of the population will ever reach their potential for all activities, ninety-five percent will never truly be successful. It may be worse for writers. There's a common statistic that says eighty percent of the people wish to write a novel and only one percent do. That's not very encouraging if looking at the whole.

Let's assume you will be in the one percent. If you're dedicated to writing, that's not unreasonable for there is no time frame that you have to complete your project in thirty days, six months, or a year.

There are five characteristics you must have in common with successful novelists. Think Stephen King, Michael Connelly, James Patterson, Jan Burke, Patricia Cromwell, and you can add all those authors on the New York Times Best Seller list. And, yours, too, if not now, in the future.

Let's get back to the five characteristics.

One, goals. Goals are the single most important factor in achieving success. They must be realistic. You wouldn't want to say you have a goal of writing 20,000 words in a day. Sure, you could do it. But it's not realistic. Instead, bite off those 20,000 words in smaller portions to make the achievement of the eventual goal of 20,000 easier and manageable. All successful people set goals, reevaluate their goals and scale them upward to even greater achievements.

I will digress a moment. I was trying to work on three novels at once. Wasn't getting me anywhere. You can guess why. Overload. I diverted my mind with writing a one-act play on a topic of local news interest. A local community theatre ensemble offered to perform it. I sat in the audience. What I gauged from the audience reaction (positive for the most part) re-energized me. Not to rewrite the play, but which novel to focus on. My novel writing goal was now clear. (Read Adolph's Gold sample at http://www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/398225 )

Two, positive attitude. Having a positive attitude is the second factor that successful writers have in common.  Say hello to a successful writer and you'll come away with a "can do" attitude. They believe and communicate in terms of the reality of their initial goal. Grab onto it. A positive attitude is contagious.

Third, truth. The truth, expressed in your writing, and everyday activities is always best for several reasons. The least may be that it's always easiest to remember. People kid about that, but it's true. If you are going to be a successful writer, and I believe you will be, you will not have time, energy, or ability to remember the untruths or lies told. Furthermore, true winners face the truth, learn from it, and triumph in the end because they never have to backtrack to cover up problem areas created by lies.

Fourth, research. Successful writers are always on the prowl for improvement. It's not only research to keep the elements of their stories faithful to reality, it's also a constant striving for improvement through seminars, reading, and listening to the ideas of others. While this may incur a cost in time and effort, not to do will bring about a return on investment (to use a banking term) that equates to zero. And the lack of effort always results in zero.

Fifth, think. A writer's ability to think is a talent to be exploited. With the ability to think, writers not only embellish plots or story lines, but they engage readers. Readers latch on to the power writers possess. This power of writing is awesome and, at times, frightening. Writers make readers believe.
Why? Because writer's already believe because they have goals, a positive attitude, speak truth, research and think.

As a writer, it's your task and opportunity to unleash that which is in you. You know you can do it.


Donan Berg's newest novel mystery/thriller Adolph's Gold comes out March 13, 2014. Read major preview sample at www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/398225 or at Barnes and Noble, Sony, or Kobo online. E-book priced at $2.99. Special pricing for libraries. Ask Amazon.com to upload for Kindle.

Seven Triggers to Writing Success

All writers desire success. I wouldn't say all unless I included myself. The difficulty is a challenge, but also an opportunity to understand and put into practice seven mental abilities that will get you there.

Why is this important to your next great novel?

While it might not be the end all to the fictional story, it should be to your entire personal life of which writing is such a fundamental part. Let's trigger your success. Here are seven.

1. Passion. All truly successful people have a driving force within them that sets them apart from others. It may not be going an extra mile in reality, but the metaphor sets forth the principle. It is that extra energy that gives you the fuel to reach your true potential. It'll be with you 24/7. It will never subside. Oh, it may seem to ebb like the tide, nevertheless, like the tide you come back as strong as ever. Your only goal is to achieve and this goal never leaves you.

2.  Belief.  Virgil is quoted to have said: "They can because they think they can." You can only do that which you believe you can do. If its a particular annual income goal or number of books sold, the belief in that goal must exist or you will never accomplish it. Your limits are self-imposed. Have a belief in what you can achieve or you will never climb the mountain and reach the summit. "Man is what he believes." -Anton Chekhov.

3. Strategy. A strategy is your game plan of life. In a novel you might label it a plot. The strategy is the road map you use to accomplish your goals, ambitions, and desires. While you must believe, there is a need to incorporate a navigation that leads you to success. Sure, there might be detours, but you'll never let a setback take away your passion and belief. You will find the shortest distance between where you are now and your ultimate goal.

4. Clarity of Values. You must determine what is of most value  to you. For some its patriotism, love of family, excellence in what you do, ownership of your life, and tolerance to your fellow man. This list is not exhaustive. You must select the moral, ethical, and fundamental core values that will guide your life. How does it fit in with the above? Without a clear system of values, you will most likely find it difficult to believe in something exhibiting a true passion. Humans typically don't believe in things they don't value. If there is no consistency in belief and value, passion will come across as a veneer not to be given credence.

5.  Energy.  Without physical vitality to take action, lack of success is the predicted outcome. This doesn't necessarily mean a sculptured body built by a gym. It means a physical, spiritual, and mental energy that allows, actually compels, you to take the first step and accomplish the most with what we have to work with. At the least it means eating nutritious food to build body strength, obtaining enough sleep to replenish our bodily systems, and not stressing over every little incident in your life. Remember, you're exercising a passion, not living a detour.

6.  Bonding Power. You will bill rapport with other people. You will use the understanding that different people see the world differently and not demean or degrade others. You will use this ability to communicate with others while not sacrificing or being deceitful about your life's values.

7.  Communication. You will take charge of your own mind. "There is only one Success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." -Christopher Morley.  You will not shy from your passion, belief, or values. You will believe that any sale of your writing should leave the purchaser with the willingness to purchase your next work. That means you'll not mislead in your one effort. You will be honest and clear in what you communicate and delve to understand, or ask questions if you're not sure, what the other person is saying.

Remember, as one wise sage once said, success if what you make it. It's out there, embrace it.

Description: A Writer's Challenge

Every reader’s real world visual perception has a deeper nuance and far exceeds what, with absolute certainty, the written word, even with razor-sharp precision, can create. Whether an author attempts to create a physical setting out of whole cloth or describe one that exists in nature, two challenges exist. How can you pinpoint everything to the nth degree and how do you bridge the gap existing between the totality of what you wish to convey and still maintain the interest of today’s reader? 

Let’s try an example. Dame Agatha Christie sets up her classic play, Ten Little Indians, with initial stage directions that are here reproduced with one minor deletion:

“The scene is the living room of a house on Indian Island. It is a very modern room, and luxuriously furnished. It is a bright sunlight evening. Nearly the whole of the back of the stage is a window looking directly out to sea. French doors are open in center to balcony. It should give the impression of being like the deck of a liner, almost overhanging the sea. There is a chair out on the balcony and the main approach to the house is presumed to be up steps on the left side of the balcony. . . French doors are wide so that a good area of the balcony is shown.

“In the left wall, near windows, is a door to dining room. Downstage left is a door communicating with hall. Pull cord below this door.

“Up right is a door to study. Middle stage right is fireplace. Over it hangs the reproduction of the “Ten Little Indians” nursery rhyme. On the mantelpiece are a group of ten china Indian figures. They are not spaced out, but clustered so that the exact number is not easily seen.

“Center are two sofas with space between. Chair and small table up left. Club chair with tabouret right and above it, down left, where there is also a bookcase. There is a window seat up right and cocktail cabinet below mantelpiece. Tabouret down right. Before fireplace is a big white bearskin rug with a bear’s head. There is an armchair and tabouret right center. A square ottoman at lower end of the fireplace. A settee with table left of it in front of window at the back.”

Can you imagine this scene? On your inner visual screen do you imagine colors? What colors? The only color actually mentioned is white in describing the bearskin rug. If you can see the sky through the balcony, would it be a solid blue or dotted with white, puffy clouds? Would this expanse be flat or stretch to the horizon? If either, does that affect the colors you perceive? How would it affect the reader? 

We are told the living room is very modern and luxuriously furnished. Would those words narrow your perception of color? Perhaps. But we aren’t given a date. Many colors can be perceived as modern. Some colors such as those replicating the patina of oak and mahogany are dark and have been associated with luxury for decades. Would they also be modern? Or, is there an unwanted tension created between the dark colors of wood and, say, the sparkle of gold or silver? How about visual intensity? Is one contrasting color concentrated in a small space to become a focal point?

The mantelpiece is mentioned as an important room element. Should it be noteworthy by being crafted from a light-colored stone or gilded with gold? 

Whatever the case, the discussion so far should kindle the thought that there can be no right or wrong answer in a vacuum. The purpose of room color description is most often useful only to create a mood. Dark colors conjure up gloom and/or depression and, while there are no characters mentioned in the stage directions, a dark-colored room makes it easier for a mystery’s burglar to slink into the background. Bright pastel colors could be the trigger to an older person remembering where they grew up as a child, e.g., a red lampshade, a green throw pillow on either or both sofas.

Color, important in itself, can also define shapes. Are the purple velvet curtains a vertical rectangle or visually impressive for their scalloped horizontal line at the top of the window(s) they adorn? We can probably inwardly visualize the shape and size of a bearskin rug. A fireplace or its mantel presents a greater challenge. They can vary greatly in size and design, although visually within limits. Determining what the word “tabouret” means is decidedly more difficult. There is an inherent ambiguity in the word for it can mean either a low seat without a back or arms or a small portable stand or cabinet. Since the word is used multiple times, a mixture of visualized furniture is definitely possible. Why confuse the reader? There is no good reason to. The reader would be busy enough trying to visual the room without generating more confusion, especially since we haven’t added any character yet.

And, even if one is confident in describing the room, how should it be done—all at once, or piecemeal in narrative between character dialogue, in character dialogue, or silently within the thoughts of a character? It’s a big decision. Too much narrative and you lose the reader experiencing boredom with a lack of action. Too little description and the reader will be lost for not being grounded in the context of the story.

While it would be an unending task to try to pinpoint what should be the final result of every written story, the point here is that each author needs to examine his or her setting description with an attempt to determine what is being projected into and absorbed by the reader’s mind. If the projected image is not the desired one, a different perspective is likely the best first choice for finding the solution.

Forget Flattery; Be Yourself

Imitation may be flattery and many a budding writer envies Herman Melville, William Faulkner, or fill in the blank ________ without a complete understanding of what made that writer's prose great. Far be it from me to invade the minds of great writers, but their writings give wannabe and striving writers more than enough to think about.

(While I think, you, the reader, should know that this author, me, Donan Berg, has just been informed that he landed three times in the 2013 winner's circle at the 8th Annual Dixie Kane Memorial Writing Contest. When the official results are announced, look for them here.)

Let's start with Mr. Melville. A previous blog teased you with his opening line of "Call me ______." If you didn't correctly fill in the blank, no matter. Beginning writers have often tried, unsuccessfully, to imitate the style or voice of past writing masters. What is not grasped is that the greats changed over time. Or, more accurately, they adapted their voice or style to the nature of their story.

Mr. Melville wrote a novel entitled Omoo, which often ends up as a crossword answer. Those crossword geeks love words with multiple vowels. Anyway, the story starts very simply:

"It was the middle of a bright tropical afternoon that we made good our escape from the bay. The vessel we sought lay with her main-topsail aback about a league from the land and was the only object that broke the broad expanse of the ocean."

Please note, no big dictionary words. Yet, there are questions. Escape from what? Or whom? Why the referenced vessel? If this was a bay, why only one vessel? Are we near a town or marooned? The hook for reading more is deeply planted.

Later in his writing life, Melville began his classic Moby-Dick as follows: (You can repeat out loud this often-quoted verbiage.)

"Call me Ishmael. Some years ago-never mind how long precisely-having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world."

Had Melville changed? Some would say yes. But it's more than that. It's voice. Moby-Dick is arguably more authoritative in style and voice. Omoo didn't require the Moby-Dick voice, at least, Mr. Melville didn't believe so.

I attended a reading by Alice Sebold a few years ago and she read the first chapter of her well-received and engaging novel entitled The Lovely Bones. It begins:

"My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973."

Does that harken back? Maybe yes, but not as straightforward as J.D. Salinger's A Catcher in the Rye reference to Charles Dickens and David Copperfield.

My goal is not to flog masterful writing, but to point out different stories require serious thinking to match the character with the voice presented.

William Faulkner developed his style in service to his stories as other great writers have done. Compare his daring point of view and tense that serves the Bundrens well in As I Lay Dying with the simpler, more straightforward style in his The Reivers.

However you try to style your story, the goal is to not overwhelm your reader and bury the story in an avalanche of stylistic voice copied from a person that doesn't inhabit your skin. If the voice becomes the end all, all your characters will begin to sound alike, spouting diction so similar the reader glosses over the points you wish to make. Sure, I can envision an urban street corner where everyone begins a sentence with "yo dude." Would that enhance my story or distract? Probably distract.

If you give high tension to every character, none will stand out as major or memorable. You may think of all your friends as major influences in your life, but aren't they all slightly, maybe even markedly, different. Treating them as different is not a snub. They're not robots who attended the same Star Wars training school. Come to think of it. Is R2-D2 the same as Hal the computer or that other annoying robot. I think you know the one I'm referring to. No, it's not named Ishmael or Salmon. Think of beginning with the letter C.

The main point is to be yourself. There's nothing wrong with the following in the right circumstances:

"Oh no," the pizza man shouted. "He's been fighting wid his old lady. I ain't gonna get no tip outta this pie."

Nor the following:

"Don't call me Jacob."

Think of yourself, your story. Now, go to it.

Writing Emotional Projection

If the reader has a tear in his or her eye, it might not be bad. There's emotion present. What I refer to as a "projection." It's the emotion generated by the written word on a page that travels and surfaces in a reader's mind or heart. Perhaps, it's best to examine a made up example:

     Kate walked to the front of the building. The light shone dim. Jack waved her in.
     "There's stew left. I could reheat."
     "Okay," Kate said.
     "My kitchen never closes," Jack replied. "I feed my family from the kitchen. Our house is connected to the bar and we don't have any other kitchen. It's open 24/7, although the bar door is locked at 2 a.m."
     "Front of the house," Kate said.
     "Huh?"
     "That's what some call a restaurant, the seating part."
     "That so? We call the kitchen a kitchen; the bar, a bar; and everything else the house."

The scene is simple. We're in the point of view (POV) of Kate. We can assume they're human, but maybe not. For purposes here, it's unimportant.

We have an interaction between Kate and Jack. It's dull. Straightforward? yes; objective? yes; inspiring? hardly; emotional? far from it.

Emotional projection is subjective. It's judgments and opinions held by the POV character, a view of the story world unique to the character through whose eyes we are experiencing that world. If the reader would know how that character is feeling or reacting to his or her world, there's a greater chance for an emotional bond between character and reader. Even if the reader thinks the character is acting foolishly, there can be a bond created. And, the payoff for the writer is that the reader keeps turning the page to learn more.

A writer could self-edit the above and add attribution tags like: she said angrily, he cried out, or she demurred.

Let's try to be more forceful. Give it a go yourself.

Here's one attempt to blast greater emotion from the page:

Kate hesitated on the flagstone walk. The building looked so daunting in the dim light. What could those shadows, the creepy ones, do to her? She made her mind up. Nothing. She wasn't going to live in the past.

A shadow, the size of a man, emerged. She recognized Jack; thank heavens it wasn't Steve. She exhaled and welcomed his wave.

"There's stew left. I could reheat."

Kate loved stew. "Okay." She silently admonished herself for not being more grateful and cleared her throat. Her last meal, yesterday, hadn't stayed down. "Okay," she repeated, hoping no trace of her fear would show in her voice. Jack had his grandmother's stew recipe; the memory of its savory aroma from times past washed over her.

"My kitchen never closes," Jack replied, pride tinting his words.

Kate couldn't make out his smile, but she knew it would be there.

"I feed my family from the kitchen. Our house is connected to the bar and we don't have any other kitchen."

His speeding-train words wouldn't be slowed and Kate knew any attempt to encourage him to enunciate clearer would be met by his resistance and flare his anger. She would endure his rattling on for the stew.

"It's open 24/7, although the bar door is locked at 2 a.m."

Wow, is that nice? She couldn't fathom why she needed to understand all this and didn't wish to. "Front of the house?" Why had she asked?

"Huh?" Jack's expression remained perplexed as Kate stepped closer to him. The light's angle diffused the shadows on his face.

"That's what some call a restaurant, the seating part." Kate had taken too much for granted. She'd been blessed with college.

"That so? We call the kitchen a kitchen; the bar a bar; and everything else the house."

Writers can expect to add character emotion or projection at the revision stage or stages. On first draft, it's often better to charge ahead to get the story idea on paper and then spend time to mold the exact emotion to snare the reader. The benefits are huge.

While in Kate's POV it's easier to express how she's feeling or reacting, a writer can hint at what might be going on in Jack's head, even if it's colored by Kate's prejudices and worldview.

A caution, piling adjective upon adjective may seem to add extra emotion, but it can as easily confuse the reader. Be judicious. Salt can flavor a stew. Too much salt can make it uneatable.

Openings - Tension, tension, tension

Readers always want tension. Authors know that.

Opening lines were the topic of the last post. While not just one line, openings, according to feedback received, require an extended discussion and we'll bite off another chunk here. While it's hard to generalize or slice openings into neat categories, I'm going to try assuming there is but one genre, which we all know is not true.

Opening tension, what's it about?

1. Tension versus grounding.

There is a general admonition for writers to create tension in the opening. That often runs counter to grounding, which I define as giving the reader an exact time, place, and context of the action.

To be vague, often creates tension. "Don't do that," she screamed." Okay, you're grounded in that its a female. But is she really in distress, or in euphoric joy. Let's not be sexist. We don't actually know what created the comment. Sure, the word "screamed" could indicate danger. But would that be so if this speaker was in a room of numerous loud voices and she didn't wish the caterer to place the food next to the exit door. Who's in danger? The speaker? Another person? Or is her pet dog raising a leg?

Many readers require to be immediately grounded, or they're flipping the story closed as a waste of their valuable time. And, who can blame them for desiring the security not to have to figure out the details of time and place. And, this knowledge can include both the physical as well as the emotional facts. Remember the cliché of: "It was a dreary and stormy night on the ............"

If you've read any of Robert Crais's best-selling novels, you'll begin with a straightforward description of characters and location, even if there's no immediate indication of conflict or tension. Obviously, that's what his readers expect and he delivers.

A descriptive on-board conversation of Sister Fidelma of Cashel sets the stage for Peter Tremayne in The Dove of Death to start the adventure with a death-defying jump into the sea and a dramatic rescue to avoid certain death.

2. Tension versus mood.

Yes, some novels depend on mood. Note above, a dark and storm night. However, it's easy to overdo the description of mood if relying on nature rather than human emotions. Readers, and I have no specific survey to quote, attach themselves easier to human emotions than the swaying of branches, a silvery moon, or the old chestnut of an approaching storm to equate to or suggest pending danger.

The trick for weather moods is to incorporate it into the personality, fears, or hopes of the witnessing character. Example 1: He shuddered at every strike of lightning; his father had been killed by a late August strike. Example 2: She felt calm. The wind did that. Example 3: Whenever George touched a wet rock, he thought of his pet turtle that slipped from his grip into the rapids and never surfaced.

While its sad, visual media has overpowered most written descriptions of natural phenomena. The descriptions are still important as seasoning, if not the main dinner course.

3.  Tension ploys.

Many authors employ short, staccato sentences or non-sentences to create tension. In the short term, it can work. The gunslinger flexed his fingers. His holster tied to his right leg. The six-shooter loaded. The crow cried. Dust settled. His eyes straight ahead. Unmoving. His fingers flexed again.

After two pages, aren't you ready to say, fire or die?

The First Line - Getting It Write

Over time, novel opening lines have been there to inspire parody, haunt the memory, or, and this is their critical importance, no matter how or by what technique, the reader must read the next line. And then the next until that most desired line of all - the concluding one. You might have favorite opening lines or know the classics. If you have the urge to write, you probably do.

J.D. Salinger in Catcher in the Rye relied on Charles Dickens and David Copperfield. Chris Cleave in Incendiary begins with: "Dear Osama they want you dead or alive so the terror will stop." Janet Evanovich starts with a different tone in One for the Money. She writes: "There are some men who enter a woman's life and screw it up for ever."

And no, Herman Melville hasn't been forgotten. You can fill in the blank. "They call me _______."

Writers and readers have a convergence, they both must start at the same words. So what kind of advice would it be to advise to start at the beginning? Well, it's true. It's necessary. The sticky point is: is the start enticing?

It's been claimed that one Montana writer spent eight years working on his novel's opening line. While the truth may not be known, there's one truth that's inescapable. Once the line is written for the last time, it's there for history. A daunting challenge, for sure.

Rather than go off on the theoretical, I've decided to set forth the opening lines currently topping the page of several works in progress. There's no rule that says an opening line can't be created by more than one person, although cartoonists have been having fun with committee creations for decades.

There's no right or wrong dream to where the words point, so enjoy. (I've substituted initials for character names. If your opening line wants to use initials for a character, go for it.)

1.  "Standing motionless, A.G. counted the day as both zero and one."

2.  "Chocolate smelled sweet, death did not."

3.  "E. feared that, if she looked, it would still be there."

4.  "Huffing and puffing, G.K. welcomed fatigue to punish his lack of imagination."

5.  "To counteract her chest-tightening sadness, A.H. squeezed both hands gripping her
       Ford F-150 steering wheel until her fingers ached and the depression between her
       raised knuckles mimicked the ruts in the rural road leading to Grandma's farm."

6.  "'Don't need help,' R.K., in the Angel Springs, Louisiana, Bayou Downs barn,
       admonished Uncle Joe."

7.  "Passersby would believe J.O.'s eyes gazed aimlessly past bobbing shrimp boats to
      the Gulf of Mexico horizon."

8.  "A. F. grieved the loss of two mothers."

An intriguing exercise, should you wish to do it, would be to write the second sentence to each of the above. If you do, you're on your way to completing your story. And, that's the hidden point of writing an opening line. It gets you started.

Beware. It's Personal

Lest I repeat myself too much, beware, this post is personal.

With a journalistic background, I've been taught to lead with the most important fact. For this post I've disregarded the principle since this isn't a journalistic post.

When I conceived how I would style and present this, my, blog, I decided to focus on helping other writers with craftsmanship articles, and as the desire struck, to add a bit of whimsy. Well, this post is neither.

What always impressed and irritated me about professional journalism was the ever present deadline. I vividly recall one late night lounging in the press room of a major hotel while the United States presidential candidate, in a suite upstairs, did whatever candidates do awaiting the decision of the voters. I was relaxing in the early morning hours relishing that I had stepped on the toes of a national magazine reporter and elbowed a Time photographer to get the photo of the candidate that I still cherish. On my agenda in eight hours was a two minute live radio report and attending any live press conference called if the candidate conceded or claimed victory.

I shared the company of a journalist from Australia, reporting for a group of British publications. After weeks on the campaign trail he was longing for the trip home. Slumped in his chair, he almost, on multiple occasions, fell to the floor, claimed by long days and short nights. His phone rang. It was his editor calling from a different time zone asking for 500 words, deadline in thirty minutes.

All I can say is that I've never read such concise, dramatic, to-the-point, cliche-free prose written in ten minutes from the grave of pure exhaustion. I'm sure I wouldn't have to this day remembered the incident if it hadn't been an honest-to-goodness professional who'd taught me an impromptu lesson at the foot of "show don't tell."

Circumstances as well as individuals can create the same feeling, only it may take longer.

Years ago I wrote the official United States released stories on the truce talks at Panmunjom, Korea. And it's been like days of old as North Korea has jumped to the world news stage. Only once did I have to fight the censors to use the words I had written. On that day I was successful. While I was in attendance at the truce talk site, halfway inside the 3-mile demilitarized zone, I had to have my story ready to dictate by telephone to Seoul when arriving at the military base just outside the DMZ. It was the first opportunity to make a telephone call. If it hadn't been for the experience of knowing reporters like those met during U.S. presidential campaigns, I wouldn't have been able to complete the tasks for the months that I did, nor personally complete the early morning briefing for the Secretary of the Army who visited during my deployment.

So what triggered these memories? While I wouldn't give up one minute of my journalistic life, I today discovered a reader review of my novel "The Bones Dance Foxtrot, Second Skeleton Series Mystery" on Amazon.com. It said: "I liked it but not as well as the first one. (That's "A Body To Bones, First Skeleton Series Mystery.") We've met the author so I started reading his books, and I enjoy them. I never know the ending and that's something I like."

I must confess I didn't recognize the name of the reviewer. Am I glad he purchased and read my novels, was willing to express an opinion, and took the time to write an online review, obviously yes, yes, yes. In fact, more than glad, ecstatic would be a better word.

But it also triggered in me the thought that an author never knows if or how he or she will affect a reader or a potential reader. You go to book readings. I have one scheduled here April 18 in Rock Falls, IL. You go to community events, you support charities, you speak to people in person, if you can. It's an axiom that no one can like or dislike a novel until it's read. Getting the read is the challenge. Can there be an analogy between an author "pressing-the-flesh" and a politician? Yes.

There is a kinetic energy that bills. Yes, please come back to this blog to read ideas on how you can craft better prose, but don't forget to get out there into the community. I'm not saying it will be easy, but the rewards will buoy your heart and brighten your smile. And, the rewards come from quarters you won't imagine and at times you won't fathom.

Isn't that why you're an author, to uplift people? To give readers an enjoyable experience?

Now, I ask that you go to my previous blog post and click on the link to read a sample of my e-book Abbey Burning Love.

What's Your Story Premise?

Every writer has an idea on where his or her story is going to take them, or should. The difficulty encountered is with the precision of the thought. One suggested exercise to distill, or to separate the wheat from the chaff (to use an old cliché), is to create a premise.

What is that you ask? It's a simple one sentence statement of the story. The premise contains the character, plot, and a sense of the outcome. A tough task to create? Definitely yes. But when completed your personal satisfaction will be higher and your story will be better off for it.

Hollywood is well-known for wanting to have "high-concept" stories. To the investors that is a short statement that connects with the audience and brings to their ears the sound of box office cash registers ringing-Caching, Caching.

To complete your premise start by brainstorming. Don't reject any idea. Keep scribbling or striking that keyboard in front of your fingers.

For example:

     Long lost dinosaurs and humans fight for survival and island dominance.

     Children survivors after a world disaster are forced to fight on TV by evil dictators.

     Couple nurtured by a child they'd abandoned two decades earlier find love.

     A male actor dresses as a woman to find employment and learns he's been
     treating women badly for years.

Look at your unique life and the passions that motivate or mean the most to you. Keep on writing.

After the list grows you should begin to see a pattern. The examples above are not sufficient to
create the pattern that should emerge with your dedication to the exercise.

Remember, you are not sharing this with anyone unless that is your wish. Don't stop at the first
hint of having nothing more to bring forth from your brain. Put the list away. Dedicate more than
minutes or hours to the task.

Later, you must evaluate whether or not you can craft your most promising premise into the outline
of a story and decide upon the shape it may take, i.e., myth, nonfiction, children's story, mystery, romance, or historical.

If you already have a story written, there is no reason you can't draft a one sentence premise. Doing the exercise in reverse will most likely strengthen your existing story, make it sharper, give strength to that sagging middle. Your completed premise also makes a nice fit with that query letter you must write to attract an agent or publisher.

For the best premise possible, get ready, go.


Author Donan Berg has written four mystery novels. His full-length e-book Abbey Burning Love is on sale for 99 cents. Visit www.dotdonbooks.com .